This fear can't be eliminated

Nor should it be. Fear of losing people you love is a sign of love. But the practical anxiety around it can be reduced — and you can spend the time you have in a way you won't regret.

The best thing you can do for yourself and for them is to be present now, not in some future version of yourself.

Three backup plans

Plan A
Practical preparation while there's time

Many things that feel painful to address now become impossible to navigate in grief. Better to handle them while everyone is well.

  • Talk with your parents about their wishes for medical care and end-of-life decisions — this is care, not morbidity
  • Find out where important documents are: wills, insurance policies, financial accounts
  • Understand the basics of estate and inheritance process in your jurisdiction
  • Make sure you have or can access what you'd need in an emergency
Plan B
Their health and safety now

What you can do now — extend and improve their lives. This is real, meaningful control over the situation.

  • Help organize regular medical checkups if they don't have them
  • Make sure they're taking prescribed medications — this is often an issue with older adults
  • Assess their home safety: lighting, rugs, bathroom grab bars
  • Research home care and community support services available in their area
Plan C
The time while they're here

This is the most important part. Practical things matter — but they don't replace presence.

  • Call or message them right now — not when you have time, but now
  • Schedule regular visits with specific dates, not "we should see each other more"
  • Record their stories: ask about their childhood, pivotal moments — this is irreplaceable
  • Tell them what they mean to you — people rarely say this out loud and almost always wish they had